Is it better to be Feared or Loved?

TL&DR – The an answer is neither, officially, but in truth it’s a blend of both, kind of.

To better understand we need to analyze all 3 points with some general pros and cons  

Being feared: 


  • People listen to what you say and always pay attention to what you do.
  • When you make demands, people follow through. 
  • That’s pretty much it, unless you have a personal thing for such authority, in which case you can sort of add that as a pro also.


  • People run away from what they fear, as such you will have a high turnover rate among your employees and team members.
  • It does not work with strong willed and strong minded people. Actually it will backfire with them.
  • Your reputation will spread and as such you will pretty much kill off any chance of scouting great talent
  • It’s tiring. You always need to be strict and harsh.
  • You cannot delegate power and as such you will not be able to delegate decision making. More work for you.

    Being loved:


  • People like you sincerely, which makes for a happy work environment.
  • People tend to be proactive and have initiative, which makes it easier to lead.

It’s easier to influence people and nurture them on the right path


  • People don’t listen to you. They say they do… and you might think they do, but they don’t, at least not fully. They filter you through their perception and as such only listen to you when they agree with you. 
  • There is no weariness towards possible repercussions. True that professionals are professionals, but a work environment that lacks repercussions leads to an extremely lax system, which tends not to get things done.
  • No gains no glory. So long as the pay comes in and the environment is nice and we love the boss, why push ourselves too hard. 

–   People will take you for granted. The love you show will slowly but surely turn from “a nice gesture” into an obligation. We deserve your love no matter what we do.

 Respected. First off let me add one thing. You can only ever get respect in two ways. You either get respect through fear – which we kind of covered – or you get respect through admiration. And it’s this precise admiration we shall cover since admiration is basically a combination of fear and love.


– Re-read all the pros from fear and all the pros from love.


  • I have yet to find any, but if you can think of some, please let me know. The only drawback I can ever think about to this is fame, and the possible negatives which come with it. But the positives outweigh the negatives several fold even in this rare situation. 


admiration, respect

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